Special to IFN
The anxiety trap, often called the cycle of avoidance, happens when we avoid situations that can cause anxiety or emotional distress. Avoidance provides temporary relief before the anxiety creeps back into the picture, intensifying these emotions. Are you stuck in this trap?
“Oftentimes, we don’t want to deal with a situation, so we avoid it,” explained Derick Buggs, a social worker at Iredell Davis Behavioral Health Hospital. “Maybe you need to have a conversation with a co-worker, but you keep putting it off. This gives you temporary relief until you see that person again and the anxiety comes back. What ends up happening is that when you finally decide to have the conversation, you come across as mean or angry and say things you don’t mean.”
Sometimes, past experiences and trauma can exacerbate this anxiety and tension.
“I see this happen in romantic relationships. Couples start to feel like roommates and barely talk to each other anymore because they’re avoiding talking about their triggers. It ends up affecting their kids and work ethics. If you have anxious feelings and you don’t know where it’s from, you need to look internally to figure out what’s triggering you.”
Anxiety — a feeling of fear, worry, or dread — looks different for everyone, but usually involves both physical and emotional responses. You may have sweaty hands, restlessness, muscle tension, or rapid heartbeat.
Falling into this anxiety trap can tear you down.
“I like to use the analogy of walking around with a backpack full of bricks. Every time you choose to avoid something, another brick goes in your backpack. Eventually, it wears you down and you fall. If you face your triggers, it’s like taking a brick out of your backpack.”
How to escape the anxiety trap
Find a support system
“I’m big on creating who you want in your family. It could be friends, loved ones, church people — whoever. You build your own nucleus because sometimes, talking to [actual] family can create more anxiety.”
Use your tools
“Don’t wait until you’re in crisis to practice. Find a tool that works for you (such as breathwork or meditation) and put it into your regular routine. I remember the first time I started meditating, I could only do it for a minute. Now that I’ve practiced, I can do it for 20 minutes.”
Box Breathing: This is an easy practice to incorporate when you’re feeling anxious. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, relax for four counts, and repeat.
Self-reflect: “It sounds crazy but go to a mirror and talk to yourself. If you need to have a difficult conversation with someone, practice what you would say, see your facial expressions, and practice your body language. Then make a plan to do it.”
With practice, you can escape the anxiety trap and take back your life.
About Iredell Health System
Iredell Health System includes Iredell Memorial Hospital; Iredell Davis Medical Center; Iredell Davis Behavioral Health Hospital; Iredell Mooresville; Iredell Home Health; Iredell Wound Care & Hyperbaric Center; Community and Corporate Wellness; Occupational Medicine; the Iredell Physician Network and more. Iredell Memorial Hospital is the largest nonprofit hospital in Iredell County. The comprehensive healthcare organization has 391 licensed beds; close to 2,300 employees; and has approximately 365 healthcare providers representing various specialties. Centers of excellence include Women’s and Children’s; Cardiovascular; Cancer; Surgical Services and Wellness & Prevention. The health system’s Iredell Mooresville campus is home to the area’s only 24-hour urgent care facility, as well as an ambulatory surgery center, imaging center, rehabilitation services, and physician practices. The mission of Iredell Health System is to inspire wellbeing. For a comprehensive list of services and programs, visit www.iredellhealth.org.