BY JEFF CORBETT

An old married couple had four boys. The older three had red hair and light skin, the youngest had black hair and dark eyes.

On his deathbed, the father turned to his wife and said, “Honey, be honest with me. Is our youngest son my child?”

The wife replied, “With my heart and soul, I swear he is your son.” Upon hearing that, the old man smiled, then peacefully passed away.

As she stood up to leave, the wife said, “Thank goodness he didn’t ask me about the other three.”

One of the most valuable communication skills you can possess is the ability to ask good questions and, more importantly, the right questions.

What is ‘The right question’?

You ask questions — many of them — every day. The question is: Are they good questions that keep the conversation on the right track and are productive?

Listen to Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, “the right question is already half the solution to a problem.”

Albert Einstein said, “If I had an hour to solve a problem … I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper questions to ask, for once I know the proper question, I can solve the problem in less than five minutes.”

Today’s column is inspired by the book, “A More Beautiful Question,” by Warren Berger. It really opened my eyes to how powerful asking the right questions can be.

Why Do We Question?

As a tiny person, you started off asking questions at a very early age. Berger quotes Harvard child psychologist Paul Harris as saying, “a child asks about forty-thousand questions between the ages of two and five.”

Berger cited a study that found “the average four-year old British girl asks her poor mum 390 questions a day; the boys aren’t far behind.”

Harris explained that the early questions (ages two to three) are seeking simple facts, like the name of an object. He observes that “by age four, the lion’s share of the questions are seeking explanations, not just facts.”

What Makes a Good Question?

A good question isn’t just a sentence with a question mark at the end. It’s a small act of engineering; you’re building a doorway into someone’s mind, and the quality of the doorway determines what kind of thinking can walk through it.
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It has a purpose—even if the purpose is discovery.

A good question knows what it’s trying to do:
· Clarify
· Challenge
· Reveal
· Inspire
· Connect
· Shift perspective

How to Ask Good Questions

Good questions are clear, open-ended, and purposeful—they spark insight rather than just seeking to elicit facts. They show curiosity, invite reflection, and help build stronger connections in conversation.

Use open-ended phrasing: Questions starting with “how,” “what,” or “why” encourage deeper responses, while yes/no questions often shut down dialogue.

Closed questions test memory, like a regurgitation of facts. Think back to high school.

Open questions test imagination. A good question expands the space of possible answers rather than shrinking it.

You can start your conversation with general questions. Then, based on the answers, you can follow up with more specific ones.

Here’s an example:
“Tell me about your work” leads to
“What part of your work energizes you most?”

How Might We’?

Last summer, I attended a seminar sponsored by the Small Business Center at Mitchell Community College entitled “How Might We?” It really opened my eyes to great questioning.

“How might we” questions turn challenges into opportunities by seeing problems as open-ended questions, along with their challenges. “How might we” shifts your attention from what’s wrong to what’s possible, unlocking creativity, collaboration, and innovation.

The “How might we …” exercise is credited to Dr. Min Basadur, a creativity researcher who tells us framing a challenge with ‘How might we …’ invites creative possibility, instead of blame or constraint.

Next time you are facing a problem or issue, ask yourself or your team “How might we …” and the let the ideas come in fast and furious.

The Five Whys

Given the title “The King of Japanese Inventors,” Sakichi Toyoda’s genius first emerged in the textile world in the late 1800s and early 1900s.

The proceeds from selling his textile patents funded his son Kiichiro Toyoda’s exploration into automobiles—an investment that ultimately led to the founding of Toyota Motor Corporation.

Sakichi Toyoda is famous for his “Five Whys” methodology. To quote Berger, “For decades, his company used the practice of asking ‘why’ five times in succession as a means of getting to the root of the … problem.”

Another name for this is “root cause analysis,” and here’s an example of the “Five-Whys” method at work:

Problem – The assembly line stopped.

1. Why did the line stop?
Because the conveyor belt motor overheated and shut down.

2. Why did the motor overheat?
Because it wasn’t getting enough lubrication.

3. Why wasn’t it getting enough lubrication?
Because the lubrication pump wasn’t circulating oil properly.

4. Why wasn’t the pump circulating oil?
Because its intake filter was clogged with metal shavings.

5. Why were metal shavings clogging the filter?
Because the motor’s bearings were worn out and producing debris.

The root cause of the problem is worn-out bearings—not the conveyor belt, not the pump, not the overheating, and not the lubrication.

The real fix is replacing the bearings and improving the maintenance schedule, not just restarting the line or cleaning the filter.

You can use this formula for many aspects of your life. Try out the Five Whys for better decision making.

Questions Are Productive

Asking questions can lead to innovations and positive change. In Berger’s book, he takes us back to 1902, with Mary Anderson from Alabama, who was a tourist in New York City.

She “watched as her streetcar driver struggled to see through his snow-covered windshield and wondered, ’Why doesn’t someone create a device to remove the snow?’

That “someone,” of course, became Mary herself, designer of the first windshield wiper.

“Sixty years later, Bob Kearns brought the windshield wiper into the modern era by posing a new question of his own. Dissatisfied with wipers that moved at one speed, whether it was pouring or drizzling outside, Kearns inquired, ‘Why can’t a wiper work like my eyelid, blinking as much (or as little) as needed?’ ”

Kearns worked on his “intermittent wiper” idea in his basement, and the rest is history.

See how questions work? There is a problem or something that needs improvement, and so you ask a question like the following from Berger’s introduction to his book: “Why are we doing this particular thing in this particular way?”

Dumb Questions

You’ve heard “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” Occasionally, you’ll be asked a question that makes you roll your eyes. The noble thing to do is to answer to the best your ability and don’t point out the question’s shortcomings..

There was a gift and novelty shop located in an exotic cruise port that had a constant flow of tourists from all over the globe.

One day, a visitor stopped in for a look around, and came upon a genuine ventriloquist dummy for sale. He was very interested, so he asked the shopkeeper, “Do you have one that speaks Spanish?”

Loaded Questions

In a past column, we discussed loaded questions, questions that are traps that you can only answer one way, with the answer the questioner wants to hear. Loaded questions push the listener into a corner, often making any response seem like either a confession or concession.

An example of a loaded question is “Does this dress make me look fat?” or “You’re not going to wear that, are you?”

Trust me, when you ask a loaded question, you are starting World War III.

Know What Moves Their Needle

In business author Peter Bregman’s blog, he tells of the AARP’s attempt to get lawyers to help low-income seniors with a reduced rate of $30 an hour. The lawyers all said “no.”

AARP had a brainstorm. Then they asked the lawyers to do it for free. The lawyers overwhelming said “Yes.” So what happened?

Bregman reports that the AARP figured out when hearing the $30 request, the lawyers were asking themselves, “Am I the kind of person who makes $30 an hour?” The answer, of course, was “No.”

But when asked to do it for free, the lawyers heard “Am I the kind of person who helps those in need?” The question now agreed with their perception of themselves; hence the “yes” response.

The lesson? When you are asking people to do something, Bregman said, remember that they silently ask themselves “Am I the kind of person who …?”

If you want to hear a “yes,” do your homework on that person before you ask, then tell them the reason you are asking them is that they are “the kind of person who supports … (your cause).”

The Politicians’ Dodge

The art of side-stepping questions is rampant in politics.

Notice how many politicians don’t answer the question they are asked, but instead they answer a different question — the question they want to answer.

If someone gets off topic in their answer, don’t allow them the luxury of avoiding a tough question.

If they start to change the subject, tell the dodger, “We’ll discuss anything you wish, but not until you specifically answer my question,” then restate it.

They will squirm, and you will win. It’s called accountability.

Thoughtful questions can help you identify needs and solutions.

Start today by asking great questions. You will be amazed!

Jeff Corbett is an experienced public speaker, meeting facilitator and sales/marketing professional. He lives in Statesville.